Clostridium Difficile – Will The Beast Be Killed Before Me?
This is going to be a short entry…
What a year. I’ve been battling c.diff since January 11, 2011. Scared shitless (no pun intended) on what my future holds. Sigh. How did I get into this situation?
Answer: Clindamycin.
This drug sent me to the hospital 4 times. The last time was a 4 day stay. I’ve been housebound since January 10th and I am now down to 118 lbs (from 132).
This beast, Clostridium difficile, is the worst imaginable disease. You feel as if you are dying. Insomnia, burning dry skin, rashes, joint and muscle pain, dry eyes, dry mouth, headache, blurry vision, weakness, burning stomach pain…did I mention diarrhea? Elevated RA factor freaked me out. I just can’t think straight. But let me tell you…I’ve seen over 20 doctors (if you count all the idiots who saw me during my hospital stays) and all of them have no clue to the ramifications to the drugs they prescribe. I was in the hospital to an allergic reaction to Vancomycin (to try to kill c.diff), swollen throat, ear pain, ringing in ears, fullness in ears, headache…and the doctors have the nerve to say that vanco isn’t absorbed in the body therefore I shouldn’t have had these reactions. Well what caused the reaction then?
I’m exhausted. I’ve been to countless doctors in all areas, gastroenterology, infectious disease, general, rheumatoid, endocronology…I probably would have had better treatment if I went to see a veterinarian. My dog gets better treatment than I ever had since my ordeal with clindamycin.
Anyway…I can’t lose anymore weight and the Pseudomembranous colitis is going to eventually kill me. I am embarking on a fecal transplant Sunday with my good friend Andrea as my donor.
I will update my progress, hopefully this will be the ticket to replenish all the necessary bacteria in the gut.
We are referencing the “Success of Self-Administered Home Fecal Transplantation for Chronic Clostridium difficile Infection”, Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology, 2010. In a nutshell, we take approximately 50 ml of fresh donor stool, mix with 200 ml of normal saline in a blender to milkshake consistency, then place in enema bag then perform enema trying to hold mixture as long as possible. Sounds gross I know…but if I live…it’s worth it!
I’ve been off testosterone since January 11th. Don’t know if I’ll go back on T. I feel my body needs to have proper balance despite what my brain is telling me.
Oil of oregano…
In my last post…I bitch about the dental community and the conflicting treatment plans I received to treat my dental infection in tooth #14.
This morning, I visited the endodontist for a consult for re-treatment of a 20-year-old root canal. He x-rayed me and said was infected…however from my recollection of the x-ray taken last week…the infection looked smaller.
Then an hour later I’m having my tooth extracted at the oral surgeon’s who said he didn’t see an infection.
Perhaps it was the angle of the x-ray or the use of oil of oregano.
I don’t know. Upon reflection…I started taking 2 caps of Now Foods Oil of Oregano 3x a day for the past two weeks because I can’t take antibiotics and I knew this tooth was infected.
Could it be that oregano was helping me to fight this infection?
Huh. I really should try to get a hold of those x-rays before I jump to conclusions and compare.
I will say though…this has been the most troublesome extraction. I’ve never experienced so much pain and inability to form a clot. It’s been 7 hours and still bleeding.
Thank god I have ice cream and bananas. Looks like that’s the diet for the next couple of days.
Can you trust a dental professional?
I wound up pulling tooth #14. My intuition told me since it was a 20-year-old root canal and that it’s the only tooth left in that area it must be evil (lol).
I decided to pull it for a couple of reasons:
- Pain.
- 20-year-old root canal.
- Sinusitis.
- General ill feeling (maybe left over from the clindamycin reaction…hmm….perhaps it’s this tooth).
- Heard different diagnoses from different dentists. Seriously. If something is infected…it’s infected! C’mon people!
Seriously. Here’s the breakdown of people involved with the ADA I’ve seen for this freaking tooth and their treatment recommendations:
- Holistic Dentist #1: Extraction due to infection (shown on x-ray). Didn’t use her due to irresponsibility of life threatening reaction to clindamycin. Evaluation + clindamycin + probiotic = $450.00
- Regular Dentist #1: Didn’t see infection in #14, but extracted #15 (placed bone graft and removed cyst in #16). Honestly, I kept on complaining about #14 from the get-go with him. Same x-rays from holistic dentist was used plus he took his own. Evaluation + Extraction + Bone Graft + Cyst Removal + Follow Up Examination = 2600.00
- Regular Dentist #3: Tells me bite is off and shaves down a lower molar. No infection found: Shaving tooth = 149.00
- Holistic Dentist #2: Infection found #14. Recommends extraction which he doesn’t perform. Evaluation: 150.00
- Regular Dentist #4: Tells me infection is found and is minor. Recommends root canal re-treatment. Which I entertain after discussing with mom. Evaluation + cutting off existing crown = 350.00, new post and crown = 1800.00
- Endodontist: Recommended by dentist #4, sees infection. After carefully explaining my health situation and that I cannot take antibiotics, finally tells me it he couldn’t help treat the infection as it’s in the bone. He recommends extraction. Evaluation = 89.00
- Oral Surgeon: Recommended by endodontist. Does not see infection. Fed up due to pain, I have it yanked. Extraction = 350.00
I was so sick of this fucking tooth. Just had it pulled. It was the most terrible tooth extraction I’ve ever had. I swear I feel my neck is cracked. It was a nightmare.
There was NO way the tooth would have survived a root canal re-treatment. The tooth was fractured in so many places. Damn thing still has uncontrollable bleeding as I type (trying the tea bag technique now + ice).
How could so many dentists come up with differing views of something so supposedly so clear to the eye? An x-ray is an x-ray and an infection is an infection. When I get the x-rays I’ll post them. I’ve seen the infection on the x-rays and it was above the root tip in the bone.
I just hope the oral surgeon cleaned it. Not so sure about that…he tells me not to worry. Sigh. Seems like that’s all I’m doing…worrying.
Just hope this tooth extraction solves my general ill feeling. My inner voice was screaming for the tooth to be removed…but it’s so unsettling when the professionals we seek help from cannot routinely concur with treatment plans.
It must be all about the money.
Somehow I believe the oral surgeon. He was the only dentist guy who was willing to take me as an “emergency” case…and he called me back when my bleeding was not stopping. He seemed to generally care about my well-being and not the $$$ he could profit from me.
I don’t know. It’s just this feeling I have inside. Just hope I’m finally on the way to recovery! 
Intuition or Mom?
What’s the right decision? Mom seems to be trumping my intuition.
I have another infected tooth (old root canal). I knew it was infected when the other tooth was pulled last month (dentist denied it was infected). Well…here I am sitting here with another infection.
I was supposed to have the root canal re-treated today. The endodontist called in sick. Next appointment is Monday. I seriously can’t wait another 5 days.
I can’t take another antibiotic (band-aid).
I believe it’s a sign. I shouldn’t have it treated. It should be pulled.
Since I’m not paying for it, the payer (Mom), insists on re-treatment.
It’s cheaper to have it pulled.
I believe it’s “healthier” to have it pulled.
My intuition is telling me this tooth is causing my fever, sinus issues, and headaches.
I need it out.
Mom insists to wait until Monday and have re-treatment.
I feel we’re making a huge mistake financially and physically.
What kind of crap do they pack the tooth with anyway?
Suggestions anyone?
Irony. “Holistic” dentist prescribes most damaging antibiotic. Really?!?
It has taken some time to write this entry. I am very happy to be alive. I have never witnessed my body in such turmoil. The physical feeling of death and helplessness. The fact the medical community in which we all rely upon is useless and damaging.
I will never forget each minute of each day - January 10th through February 14th 2011.
I have learned a valuable lesson…trust no one except your intuition. Wish I listened to the little voice inside. I can’t begin to explain what my body has gone through.
I saw a “holistic” dentist who prescribed clindamycin for a tooth infection. Apparently I clenched my teeth so hard during a car accident last month that my tooth cracked and developed an infection.
Since I’ve never heard of clindamycin, I asked the dentist if it’s related to Flagyl as I was certain Flagyl was the reason behind the destruction of my bones and connective tissue and wouldn’t consider taking anything even remotely close to Flagyl. I was petrified of taking any antibiotic with anaerobic bacteria killing properties…however for whatever reason…I’ve always been able to tolerate amoxicillin.
She said, “no clindamycin is nothing like Flagyl and isn’t harsh”. All she said was to take a probiotic.
Usually I research the shit out of a drug before ingesting…but this time I didn’t. I trusted her and started to take it.
The first pill, I took at 8pm January 10th. When I woke up the next day, I felt weak and tired. After breakfast, I had diarrhea. I thought nothing of it until an hour after my 2nd dose. My skin was burning (all over) and I had wiggling sensations in my head, left eye, and I was hot all over. I called the dentist’s office to discuss my reaction. The office staff said the doctor will speak to me at 5 pm. In the meantime, I continue to take another dose (thinking that I may be over reacting). A friend stops by around 4 pm and said I am turning yellow.
5 pm rolls around and I receive no phone call. I thought ok, she’s tied up with something so I waited until 6:30 pm. I called the office and got their answering machine. I write down the doctors cell phone number and called her. She answers with a “What’s up?” kinda buddy tone in her voice. I was a bit pissed she didn’t return my call after speaking to her staff about my reaction. I was waiting for her call.
I told her how I was feeling from the antibiotic. She was absolutely clueless in a “clueless” kind of tone. I asked if she had planned on calling me, I left several messages with her staff. The response was “uhh…uhh”.
I told her “I’m calling 911″ and hung up on her. I wish I could have recorded this conversation. What a bitch. Seriously. Her tone on the phone was completely “unprofessional” and arrogant. I would expect so much more from a “doctor”.
My buddy Dan drove me to the hospital. My muscles had a mind of their own. They were “rolling” on their own like “worms”. I couldn’t walk and I felt burning hot skin, extreme muscle weakness, and my right abdomen felt like it was placed into a microwave.
The hospital “treated” my symptoms, ran some blood tests showing elevated white blood count, checked for c.diff (apparently clindamycin is notorious for encouraging c.diff). They switched the clindamycin for penicillin vk (I wasn’t too happy about that…needless to say…I waited to take that puppy). I was to follow-up with my GP in the morning.
I begged my GP for amoxicillin instead of penicillin vk. He said no worries…same class of antibiotic. I waited a couple of days before starting as I was still having burning skin, dehydration, and bone/joint “eating” pain. First dose was a nightmare (actually I had nightmares and couldn’t sleep). I called my GP and told him I was having the same reactions as the clindamycin…he said “impossible”. I foolishly finished my 10 day course not being able to leave my bed (except for 2 more hospital visits for extreme dehydration and fever)…my symptoms:
- The feeling that my bones and joints were being eaten alive.
- Lost the ability to stand or walk (muscle weakness, joint pain, bones cracking).
- Low grade fever with chills.
- No saliva, no tears, no mucus of any kind, inability to perspire except for extreme sweating underneath right armpit.
- Skin blazingly HOT and dry like a desert.
- All of my connective tissue is dried up.
- Inability to sleep, and when I am asleep I wake due to nightmares.
- Deep liver pain.
- Non-stop diarrhea.
- White tongue.
- Vaginal discharge.
The day after finishing penicillin, I started to regain some sense of strength to get up out of bed.
However the pain in my mouth increased.
Friend suggests I see his dentist. He pulls the tooth, removes a cyst, and places a bone graft (that’s another story). I go home and spend more days in bed.
Days later, I call his office in pain (amazing pain…you’d think I would have had pain after the extraction). Dentist happened to be on vacation…in another country with no back up emergency dentist in place.
Wow.
The dentist’s office “texts” the dentist and orders another round of penicillin vk.
I totally refused. But then, I give in and decide to take it. What else was I supposed to do?
An hour after taking the first pill on this fresh course, I became hot, weak, sick and my leg had a deep ache. I thought I was imaging things so I continued to take the penicillin. The next day I woke up with a large divot in my leg and tremendous hip pain. It feels like my muscles are being held together by a thread like all of my connective tissue has dissolved.
Needless to say…I stopped the antibiotic.
After seeking help from several specialists, it appears I had some kind of an “autoimmune” reaction…my body was eating itself. I have a huge 4 x 3 inch “divot” in my muscle/tendon in my femur and complete muscle wasting in lower leg. It feels like my muscles all over my body are being held together by a thin string and in the case of my hip…my connective tissue’s gone. I lost so much weight. Unfortunately it’s all important muscle tissue and bone. And where did my body fluids go? Again, the doctors blame it on an “autoimmune” reaction.
I’m not even going to get into my doctor ordering a Medrol dose pack while my body is trying to fight an infection. Seriously!
My understanding of disease has changed. I thought disease just happens…like lingering too long in a place full of microscopic evil things or that you were unlucky in the gene pool when you were born.
Even though I was proportionally challenged (lol), I was healthy as a child, teen, and young adult. It wasn’t until I started “listening” to these “so-called” doctors that I became sick.
Man creates disease.
Environment and drugs change our genes.
Aren’t doctors suppose to have training in pharmacology?
My body will never be the same. However…I am alive…and for that, I am grateful.
My failing health I owe to my mouth?
I can’t take much more of living this way. I never believed in holistic medicine…until now. I firmly believe that all of my problems are due to my mouth. Since I was 5, I’ve had amalgam fillings in my mouth. I have too many to count and every remaining tooth is filled with amalgam. And all of this was discovered because I couldn’t tolerate Androgel.
My sudden allergic reactions didn’t stop at Androgel. I’ve been sick everyday of my life. Every doctor and specialist had me taking so many drugs and diagnosing me with all of these things. To think that amalgam was to blame.
I have an appointment with a holistic dentist this week (if I make it). So I’ll see what she’s selling…but through all of my research…it’s very plausible that my neurological, cardio, and digestion issues could be caused by my mouth.
As of today. I want to die. I can’t speak. It hurts to think or even breathe. I thought about going to the hospital but I don’t want to die there. Fuck that.
The symptoms I’ve had for half my life:
- Extreme fatigue
- Burning pain all over body
- Muscle weakness, stiffness, and twitching (all over my body, left eye)
- Intense sweating lower extremity and full right side of body
- High anxiety
- Vision problems
- Ringing in ears and hearing loss
- Memory problems
- Inability to effectively communicate. I can’t find the words or the energy to speak my mind, difficulty talking
- Joint and bone pain
- Loss of appetite (sick after eating) and weight
- Extremely irritable
- Allergies (constant sinus pain, sudden allergy to alcohol placed on skin or internal, sudden food allergies especially to wheat and sugar. I have “hangover” symptoms after eating.)
- Nausea (started in 2009)
- Uncontrollable high blood pressure with increased heart rate
- Chest pain
- Irregular heartbeats all the time now (just started a few months ago)
- Shortness of breath
- Very sensitive to light
- Constant headaches and occasional migraine
- Right side of my body (kidney – liver area) deep ache
- Burning mouth pain, hot and dry, constantly thirsty, and chewing gum deteriorates in my mouth
- Skin and eyes are very dry, my body feels like it’s burning on the inside
- Odd dark marks on upper back
Is this my new normal without T?
Holy shit.
Every muscle in my body is unbearably aching. Every bone is hurting. I feel terribly fragile.
I am so tired and feel lifeless…and it’s only 8 am.
I felt this way yesterday and the day before…and the day before that…but today is rock bottom (I hope).
I attempted to inject .2 ml of T yesterday. I inserted the needle into my thigh and thought I was going to die! The pain was so bad. I thought to myself…not a good idea…so I removed the needle and thought “maybe tomorrow”.
I don’t remember my body being so sensitive with any of my previous injections. Maybe because testosterone acts as sort of numbing agent?
I don’t know what to do. I feel the testosterone takes a ton of pain away for me and I am worried about my bones right now.
T or no T?
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow but I’m afraid I can’t wait until then. I feel miserable…can I hold out until the compounding pharmacy fills my supposedly natural plant-based testosterone without alcohol?
This is going to be a very long day.
Androgel…or a shot of tequila?
Alright, I broke down and tried Androgel yesterday. I used one pump which is 1.25 grams of testosterone. Shit. This stuff worked FAST! Within 5 minutes, I felt like I had consumed 2 very large Starbucks coffees. It also eliminated ALL of my body pain. I was feeling SO good!
Two hours later…very different story.
I felt sick to my stomach. I was nauseas. Any slight movement was bringing me to the edge of hurling. I felt hot all over, my face and ears were flushed. My heart was racing, just beating out of control. And I had a deep pain on the right side of my body (still resides this morning).
Today, I couldn’t get out of bed. Every muscle aches and looking at the fresh snow on the ground is killing my head.
I feel hung over! Like I was out last night and consumed 12 beers! Seriously! I haven’t felt like this since I drank myself silly 4 years ago at the White Sox game. Am I hung over? Impossible! I didn’t drink anything last night. As a matter of fact…it’s been a very long time since I’ve indulged.
Incidentally, a year after starting testosterone I haven’t been able to have a beer without getting sick. My heart would race, I’d be sick to my stomach, headache, and flushed face and ears…just how I felt last night!
Huh.
After speaking with the doctor…I must be alcohol intolerant which means I don’t have the enzymes to break it down. Ironically, the Cypionate I was injecting contains alcohol (who would have known)?!? I’m shocked. Well there goes 260 dollars down the drain.
This whole transition thing has me thinking. Can testosterone be the cause of my newly acquired health issues? Or was my body going to behave similarly without the increase of testosterone? Did testosterone help me that much?
Sadly, no one knows the answer. Not even me.
I’m addicted to T like an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. No matter the risk, no matter the cost…I want something that I can’t have.
Deep within my soul, I feel I should stop finding a “safe” way to be on T. Perhaps my genes aren’t cut out for it.
No E. Gee T…I’m Addicted to You.
Alright. So my body isn’t producing estrogen anymore (still have ovaries…have 1/3 of right ovary…however according to an ultrasound the right ovary has vanished…while the left ovary is present with a cyst hanging on).
Left Ovary with 2.2 cm Simple Cyst...Right Ovary Missing.
Why I injected the measly .1 ml of T last week was because of the following numbered by level of importance:
- Hot Flashes (whoa…I didn’t expected this at all).
- Body aches (deep muscle aches like I had pre-T).
- Can’t get out of bed, literally.
- Indigestion, bloating, stomach issues (had pre-T).
- Extreme fatigue.
- High anxiety.
So. I’m feeling this way now. It’s been 6 days since I injected the measly .1 ml…it’s totally out of my system and my ovaries are not kicking in (which is a good thing…and a bad thing)…I totally don’t want my old body coming back…or a period. Shit. After 2 years not having a period…I’m sure this would be the worst period in my life. Hell…they were ALL bad. This one would be killer.
One item that I didn’t mention is my morning blood pressure has been 127/77! That’s a miracle (for me)! Now…is my blood pressure normal because I just started taking Hawthorne root yesterday and that the shit really works? Or is it because I have no hormones, in particular high testosterone?
I’m feeling I should use the blood pressure reading as in indicator for my continuation with testosterone. My doctor prescribed ”Androgel” to see if it makes a difference for the “highs” and “lows”. He said to start with one pump (I’m a lightweight) and test the waters. I would like to get rid of the hot flashes but not at the expense of high blood pressure. The doctor mentioned it would take only 5 minutes for the testosterone to hit my blood stream and full dosage throughout within an hour. To have a slight increase in BP is to be expected…but not my normal 160/95 (that’s with taking hydroclorothiazide 25mg and diltiazem 240mg daily).
And other fear…I don’t want my severe osteoporosis getting worse without having any hormones! I have another DEXA scan scheduled on the 20th. I can tell I haven’t gotten better…I feel it in my bones (last scan was in June…T scores were -3.3). Whoever said osteoporosis is a silent killer?!? Not if you’re actually breaking apart!
Within the next day or two…I will test the Androgel to see if I can tolerate a low dose of continual testosterone. If my blood pressure spikes (and I’m not in pain due to the RSD) then I think I’ll have my answer.
I’d love to hear from other pre-hysto FTM’s who’ve gone off testosterone. I’d love to know how long it took for your ovaries to start producing estrogen and progesterone and WHY did you get off T?
I know I’m not the only one in this situation!
